More Medical Language Follies

Marty and I have been going together to doctor’s appointments for a while now. It’s something couples often do as you get older, both for moral support, and so that one of you can help the other remember instructions, dates, and follow-ups. And in Portugal, there’s the added dimension of language. Even though we try to begin with English-speaking doctors and medical folk, the degree of English spoken can vary. So attending together can help a lot with “Did he actually say this, or that? Did she say they’d be calling you, or are we supposed to follow up?” Stuff like that.

So I went with Marty to his first physical therapy appointment. He is a typical former computer nerd with typical lower back pain from sitting at a desk all day over the years. Back in the U.S. he would get regular chiropractic adjustments, which kept things in check. But Portugal isn’t enthusiastic about American-style chiropractic, I heard one doctor refer to it as “not evidence-based.” I’m neutral, personally, I’ve had great chiropractic, and I have a friend who is an excellent one. But we’re in Portugal now, so we decided to do things the local way, at least to start. This involved going to a physiatrist to get a whole-body assessment and continue from there.

What this means for Marty is more lifestyle-based maintenance, like walking, stretching, and yoga, as opposed to intervention like back adjustments when it hurts. And whaddya know, he was already moving in that direction, so this is all fine. And so we wound up at a physical therapy office last Wednesday.
And Patricia doesn’t speak English. Oops. I realize how this happened. We use Serenity, a concierge service, who finds us English-speaking doctors and books appointments for us. (They really don’t cost an excessive amount of money for a year and they eliminate one of our biggest concerns, so we love them.) Marty’s physiatrist spoke excellent English. However, it was her office who called and referred him to the PT, which means it wasn’t on their radar to ask about English. Okay, lesson learned. Check the secondary referrals.

So what happened next was an hilarious hour where I quickly learned how to use Google Translate’s voice function. Up to now, I’d been typing in sentences in English and getting a decent Portuguese translation. But we needed to exchange info faster, so I gave the voice function a try. Works great! You can only translate a sentence at a time, but Marty was able to answer her questions, she used it to ask him some health history, and I tossed in various bits when appropriate. At one point all three of us had our phones out and were whispering into them, exchanging information.

And at the end, I let her know (and reminded Marty) that I wasn’t planning to come to the next appointment, just this first one. She told me I was welcome back any time and gave me a hug. Marty had his second appointment yesterday, doing the translating himself, and apparently Patricia said he should give me a kiss from her. Patricia, you were such a good sport with these dopey foreigners. You totally rock.